It’s been a while since I blogged, and for that I am very sorry. Christmas and New Year are always busy times for readings and people wanting to start the New Year on the right footing and I have been having a few ups and downs in terms of my energy and personal life (yes, it happens to me too) so now I have made some time to blog.
So what’s on my mind you may wonder? Something that has been a big issue for me throughout the end of 2013 and so far the year, something I have noticed taking on new forms of finding its way into my life and impacting me (mainly because the old ways aren’t working anymore) and that is fear.
Fear is something that we all experience, and something that we all have within our psyche. Fear once served us, kept us alive and in one piece but as society has changed and we have become more evolved and more “intelligent”; learning more about the world and apparently how it works, we have become more afraid not less. We have so many fears in this modern world: fear of failure, fear of rejection and abandonment, fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough…the list goes on and on.
Fear is always rooted in what we feel we don’t have and what other people will think, believe about or do to us, lack and not enough and fear is felt so keenly because on a very primitive level all fear is based around the fear of dying. When we are afraid of something we feel vulnerable, in danger and as though we could be consumed at any time. Fear is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world, more so in these modern times. We feel so strongly this fear and this want for things to be different and feel better and even though our logical mind is telling us that there is a solution to this problem we still feel terrible. This is because our inner being is feeling this fear on the most basic level and this fear becomes the fear of death – a much bigger threat than the issue at hand.
When we worry about things we pour our energy into this worry, boosting it, helping it to grow and it feeds on this energy and demands more. Focusing on the fear and the worry brings about more worry and does not bring a solution. Have you ever noticed how worrying about one certain thing suddenly leads to more worry about something else, often completely unrelated? How starting to freak out about one subject brings an avalanche of worry and doubt your way? This is because the vibration and the feeling of fear is so strong it pulls more and more to it and the focus we give to fear invites more because when we are worried about something we believe we must focus on this to find a solution, but in all your time worrying about things has worrying really ever helped?
As the image above says, about 90% of what we worry about and are afraid of never happens. We get ourselves worked up and we shut ourselves off from many possibilities because we don’t want more reasons to be afraid or worried and the unknown is scary. But, if you think about it it’s never the unknown you worry about. It’s the things that you know *could* happen that keep you up at night, the things that you can see a logical progression from where you are at that current time to where you do not want to end up that scares you; not the unknown. We never give the unknown a chance because of all this ‘possible known stuff that could go wrong’ that constantly rotates in our minds. The unknown is where the solution lies.
Some fear we confuse with anticipation. Anticipation is that feeling of not knowing how, but knowing everything is going to be ok and that is just a matter of time before the solution presents itself. We cannot be so vain as to think that we already know all the answers to be able to achieve the life we want within our current experience. It is in that unknown all around us that the next steps towards gaining and achieving what we want are waiting and in order to learn, see and gain these, we have to leave our comfort zone and that means throwing fear and worry out of the window.
Fear can only win if you allow it to. It can only be all consuming if you stay within this small window of thinking that the unknown is the problem, that the unknown is the enemy and that you have to have all the answers. What could you achieve if you pushed fear aside and allowed it to be possibility, opportunity and anticipation instead?
Fear is what you make of it, like so much in this life. A very good friend of mine once said to me about fear ‘is what is bothering you right this moment going to kill you? Are you actually going to die?’ and of course the answer was no, and it seemed silly to be asked that about something that posed me no physical threat. But he was right, if it is not going to kill you then what truly is there to be afraid of. It is only by facing your fears, seeing them for what they are, that you can see that they weren’t that scary to begin with.